Am I a Nerdfighter?

Hank and John Green, aka Vlogbrothers

For those of you non-geeky, non-nerdy people out there (Who am I kidding? Why would you be reading my posts if you were one of those?), Nerdfighters, or, collectively, Nerdfighteria, are the dedicated followers of the Vlogbrothers, otherwise known as John and Hank Green, who started this whole enterprise on a dare in 2007, when one of them challenged the other to communicate solely by alternately posting video logs on YouTube to each other every day. The experiment, dubbed "Brotherhood 2.0," lasted a year, but by the end of that year they had gathered so many followers that they kept it up, though they now only post twice weekly, on Tuesdays and Fridays. Today they have over a million followers.

At this point, the Vlogbrothers are so well-known that John Green was picked to be one of the panelists at a Google+ "fireside hangout" with President Obama this past February. During that time, he asked the President about the future of the penny, how one could implement government policies on global warming, and what he should name his soon-to-be-born daughter. John Green is also a well-known New York Times bestseller list writer of young adult fiction. His brother Hank has several YouTube channels, including one that teaches science to laypersons; he is the founder of DFTBA Records, a recording label for YouTube musicians; he is the producer of a wildly popular YouTube channel "The Lizzie Bennet Diaries," a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice in vlog form; he is the founder of VidCon; and he is the composer and singer of the unforgettable "Accio Deathly Hallows" song.

click here to hear Hank Green sing and play "Accio Deathly Hallows"

Okay, I said it was unforgettable; I didn't say I loved it. Still, made you smile, didn't it? Didn't it?

Well, so what is my point? I love the offbeat humor, the quick intelligence, and the nervous energy of these two young men, as well as their passion, their generosity, and their willingness to parlay their success into social action. In December of 2007 they started The Project for Awesome (P4A), in which YouTubers make videos and raise money promoting their favorite charities, and they have continued this tradition every subsequent December. The December 2012 P4A fundraiser was held in Carnegie Hall and raised $483,296 for five different charities.

The Vlogbrothers also sponsor interest-free microloans through Kiva, an online charitable lending organization. I think part of what inspired me to write this particular entry was that I just received an e-mail notice that the second payment of $2.08 toward the $25 loan I made to Faez in Iraq to help improve his auto parts store has been repaid on time. Even though I will never meet Faez or his wife and three children, it makes me happy to think I'm helping him out halfway across the world. Would I have done this without the encouragement of the Vlogbrothers? Perhaps, but probably not as soon. They make giving to charity and helping others seem natural, urgent, and overwhelmingly pleasurable. And, since recent research on happiness (Can you believe it's now a subject of research?) has found that one's happiness increases much more as a function of helping others than of buying things for oneself, I'm glad to think I spent my $25 on Faez and family than on acquiring, say, a new shirt.

Okay, back to the original question posed in my title: am I a Nerdfighter? In her March 13, 2013 blog for The New Yorker, Michelle Dean writes that the term nerdfighter "identifies the teen-ager in question as a follower of John Green." This statement is odd on three counts: one, John Green is not the only Vlogbrother; two, not all Nerdfighters are teenagers; and three, who the hell still hyphenates the word teenager? On the WikiHow of "How to Be a Nerdfighter," the authors claim that merely wanting to be a Nerdfighter makes you one. So why do I hesitate to call myself one?

I am a fan of  John and Hank Green and what they do, no question. I watch their weekly videos avidly, I get interested in their causes, I get caught up in their enthusiasms, and I laugh at their jokes. Because of them, I follow two British vlogs as well, charlieissocoollike and ninebrassmonkeys, both posted by young men in their twenties. Still, it feels odd to call myself a Nerdfighter, as I'm a middle-aged woman who's quite Internet- and social media- illiterate (I don't have a Facebook page or a Twitter account!) and who doesn't really share the same life experiences as young men born in the '80s, '90s, and '00s (bonus points if you can tell me how to pronounce that last one). I realize that there are quite a few female Nerdfighters; in fact, according to John Green, they outnumber the male ones, but it still feels odd to refer to myself as a Nerdfighter. So I don't. This is not intended as a slight to the sincere and charming Green brothers, but because I just don't like classing myself as part of a group. In other words, it's not you, it's me.

Part of the crowd?

In fact, I rather question the whole Nerdfighteria phenomenon. How can geeks, nerds, and social outcasts, people who by definition are on the outside of society, claim to belong to some monolithic group that all holds the same values? I thought the whole point of being offbeat and quirky is that one resisted definition, resisted being categorized. So, while I have no problem with the legions of fans who call themselves Nerdfighters, I do not consider myself one. I am GeekMom,  I contain multitudes.

Still....Don't Forget to be Awesome!

The Joys of Living Vicariously

People always say you should actively live your own life, not passively experience life through others. It's such a commonly held belief that it is often regarded as an obvious fact, a truth universally acknowledged. I, of course, believe this as well–what sane person wouldn't?–but I also secretly love living my vicarious life. Like otaku, or bored housewives in suburbia, or the creepy, balding, middle-aged guys who live in their parents' basements and play video games all day, I have a hidden life that takes place in books, in films, on television, and online, and it is so much more exciting and vibrant than my day-to-day existence.

Don't be so shocked, Unknown Reader. The name GeekMom kind of gives it away, doesn't it? I'm geeky and nerdy, and we geeks and nerds don't often mix well with normal people. I say the wrong things, forget to acknowledge people, enthuse about the wrong topics, go in for a hug at the wrong moment, or flinch when other people hug me unexpectedly. I frequently embarrass my children with my odd behavior (Well, I do have a teenager and they're embarrassed even by normal parents, so that doesn't really count).

For instance, I keep up a running conversation with other cars on the road when I'm driving ("Oh, nice move, Mr. Toyota, thanks for pulling in front of me without signalling" "Hey, Lady, get off your cell phone–the light has changed and we're all waiting for you!" "La la la, I'm driving an SUV so I can take up half of your lane as well as my own!"), and this is a great embarrassment for my 10-year-old daughter. She turns to her friend and says, "Don't pay any attention to Mama. She always talks to other cars. I've learned to live with it." Then she gives a tiny sigh. Poor child, how she suffers!

Okay, end of digression. The truth is, I'm usually uncomfortable around normal people. I'm terrible at parties. When I was in high school and college, I used to hang out by the potato chip bowl (Why is there always a big bowl of potato chips at parties? Is it some sort of party requirement? Must remember to Google this), steadily eating one chip after another while successfully avoiding all conversation. Also, since I don't really like drinking much, I can't even use that to loosen up. Though I really needed a drink after all those salty chips.

As a fifty-year old divorcee who doesn't have full-time work and has primary custody of a pre-teen daughter and a teenage son, a dog, and several cats, my life is fairly routine. Not a lot of excitement there. So what is the solution to add a little zip to my life? Vicarious living! Hurrah!

My favorite source of vicarious living is books.  Charles Dickens is great for vicarious living, as are Michael Ondaatje, Kate Atkinson, Arthur Conan Doyle, Dorothy Sayers, J.R.R. Tolkien, and J.K. Rowling (the Harry Potter series--I haven't read The Casual Vacancy yet). For vicarious romance, however, nothing beats Jane Austen. That Mr. Darcy! That Captain Wentworth! Mr. Ferrars and Colonel Brandon! Swoon! (At this point, I have probably alienated all of my heterosexual male readers. Don't worry, guys, I'll talk about Star Trek and Doctor Who and Dune in a later post!)

The point is, I get all the thrill of romantic tension, the fluttery feelings, the doubts ("Does he love me?"), the triumphs ("He does!"), the promise of future bliss ("Reader, I married him." Yes, I know that's Bronte, not Austen, she remarked testily), and the warm afterglow as I close the book.

All that without the guy leaving his dirty socks on the bedroom floor, toothpaste globs in the bathroom sink, or the New York Times scattered all across the room, with the crossword half filled out, incorrectly, in pen. Not that Mr. Darcy would ever do any of those things! In any case, I've come to terms with the fact that all my ideal men were invented by women writers, and are thus unlikely to be found anywhere in the real world. So why not love as well as live vicariously?

Then, of course, there are movies. All Jane Austen novels have been made into movies (including some that probably shouldn't have been–does anyone really need a film version of Northanger Abbey?), and there are so many other worlds to disappear into. And there are television series. Wish you were involved in politics and great affairs of state? Watch "The West Wing"! Wish you were a spy? Watch "MI-5" ("Spooks" in the U.K.)! Wish you were brilliant and could solve baffling crimes? Watch "Sherlock"! Wish you were brilliant and could solve mysterious ailments? Watch "House"! Wish you descended from English nobility? Watch "Downton Abbey" or "Upstairs, Downstairs"! The ways of escaping your mundane existence are myriad. I won't even go into the Internet and vlog channels at this point, because my post is getting much too long, according to my blogging mentor, who thinks my paragraphs are too long as well. I'll save some thoughts for future posts. In the meantime, Mr. Darcy and I are meeting for coffee, so I have to go.